Pope Resigns - Wants to Spend More Time with His Cat

Washington Humane Society Cats Respond
By Investigator Meow, WHS Feline Reporter

The resignation of Pope Benedict XVI has come as a shock to many, but not to Contessina. A confidential source close to the Vatican gave an exclusive interview to the Washington Humane Society (WHS), shedding new insight to the story.

According to our source, His Holiness' resignation is not the result of anything controversial; he merely wants to spend more time with his cat, Contessina. His demanding schedule was simply not allowing the two enough quality time together. Cat enthusiasts, and Contessina, are celebrating.

“The Cardinals and other clergy members continuously made unnecessary complaints about my catnip intake, and need for constant snuggles and scratches,” Contessina reported adding, “It was becoming a bit annoying for the two of us.”

Now Contessina and His Holiness' future looks bright. No longer will Contessina’s nose be irritated by the smoke of Vatican incense, nor will she continually be hounded for autographs by adoring fans. Instead, the two look forward to some peace and quiet, out of the limelight.

WHS cats responded favorably to the news. Lavendar had this to say, “Well it doesn’t surprise me one bit! Every cat knows that the best time is snuggle time, and clearly Contessina needs more of it.” 

WHS Georgia Avenue resident Posey agrees, declaring the Pope’s resignation a “win for cats everywhere.”

“Who doesn’t want to spend more time with their human? I know when I find mine, I won’t let him out of my sight!” exclaimed Posey. “We have important, time-consuming needs. We need adequate time with our people for ear scratches, nose nudges, kneading, and back rubs.”

It’s true, my fellow feline friends and I enjoy a good nap (or ten) to pass the time. But this critical rejuvenation time does not excuse the fact that we prefer to have our humans available to us at all hours of the day. If there is a scary noise, it is our humans who will comfort us and tell us when it’s ok to come out from under the bed. When we are hungry, our people will respond to our mews and provide necessary nourishment.

For Contessina, the time she now spends with His Holiness is a vast improvement.

“No longer must I wait until he returns from world travels, and other non-cat-essential 'work,'" Contessina remarked. According to our source, the two have been spotted strolling through the garden together, and watching birds. By all accounts, Contessina is now quite a content cat.

Looking for love? Lavendar, Posey, and their friends are waiting for you at the Washington Humane Society. Visit them today.

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